Hard and Soft are not Mutually Exclusive
by Anorptron
Summary: Russell's thoughts on the glimmer of steel and compassion behind Bess's eyes.
1. Hardness

_**AN: This is different from what I usually write, there is no dialogue in it, just Russell's thoughts. Chapter two will be posted tomorrow. Maybe.**_

There was a hardness to Elizabeth eyes that Russell rarely saw. It came in the heat of arguments and at times when almost no one was looking. You had to know her, really know her to notice it. For her faceful expression only changed in the slightest, Elizabeth's smile would somehow turn sharp, but didn't move, and there was the smallest glint of anger in her eyes. After Iran he saw it more often than before, but that was to be expected.

Conrad sometimes wore a similar expression to Bess's, but the President didn't care to mask it as well. It took Russell a while before he realized what the look meant. It was the look of righteousness. It was the look born from horror and sadness, but that became a fire to do good. It was a look of lost innocence and a look of selflessness.

It was almost a year into her term when he finally understood the look, when he finally shed the illusion that she was completely innocent. Now, she was, innocent, that is, but she was so much more than the persona she gave off. Bess had that fiery passion that politicians lost by the time they were in a position to have real change. And she was selfless, always willing to give more to the administration. She was also powerful, she had an air about her that made a person give in. She stood tall, no matter what. And she had actually goals, not dreams. And yes, there was a big difference. That's when he learned how dangerous Elizabeth was. She was irreplaceable, if something happened to her, deals, treaty's would break, tensions and relationships would be strained. She would never have to do a thing, except say something and it would come crashing down.

And despite how dangerous that made her, it was also what made her so special. Without her, -as much as he hated to think-, Conrad's presidency would have almost no chance of being as remarkable as it was now. Elizabeth had once told him a saying by Ernst F. Schumacher that she practically lived by. It went 'Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction.'

But, there was another saying about geniuses that applied to her. 'What is to give light must endure burning.' And she burned, but he was worried about for how long. For every candle runs out of a fuse, and slowly dies out. Though, at the rate Bess was going, she would be a reusable candle, so long as someone gave her something to light the wick. So long as she had the hope for a better world

The look had hardly left Elizabeth's face when she returned for Algeria. Though that was to be expected, she had witnessed a hanging with no time to prepare herself. And despite that she went back and helped with the transition of power.

The look made Russell's skin shiver, but for different reasons. When it wasn't directed at him, he'd look on in wonder. He wanted to know what had happened for her to have that look. He knew she had been in the CIA, but he didn't know everything. Then there was Iran, in which the look had been absent a while, before it came back with a fiery vengeance.

He'd feel a small amount of pride. Russell didn't know why, everything that she was she made herself. But he couldn't help it. The woman could do anything she set her mind to. And it filled him with hope. Hope for country and the world. The determination that he had barely gotten a glimpse of gave him hope for hope.

She wasn't Bess in those moments, she wasn't a friend. She was Elizabeth, a self made woman who was out for what was best for the people. She wasn't a person during during those times, she was something more. She was the hero the little girls looked up to.

The hard look in her eyes would pass in seconds, making him sometimes wonder if he had imagined it. But the apherintion he felt when he saw it was almost palpable. He wondered if Conrad ever noticed it, he knows that the look had flashed in her eyes in front of the President. And Conrad had been CIA, he'd have to have noticed.

But, Russell didn't pretend to know what the president knew. Doing that could get him, and others into trouble. And not the small kind.

He shook himself out of his thoughts and turned to Elizabeth who was threatening the person on the other side of the phone. Russell would never tell her this, but she was truly remarkable.


	2. Softness

_**AN: That's a wrap for this one! I'll be posting**_ ** _some other fics in the next couple days. Keep an eye out! R &R!_**

There was another look in Elizabeth's eyes, one that was rarer than the other. It was the softening of her gaze, like the other it was hardly noticeable. Until it wasn't. Russell saw it more often now than in the beginning, it would appear in familiar banter. Or in quiet jokes that weren't really funny, but the soft giggle and the fond smile made it funnier.

He had first seen the look in Conrad's office, after her maiden trip to India when Elizabeth, himself, and the President had been drinking fine scotch and taking a breather from their stressful jobs. It was after Conrad's crack about how he didn't like the President taking someone else's advice over his own. Bess had laughed, and her eyes flickered over to him, but that was just enough time for him to catch the fondness and something else in her eyes that he still couldn't name. But, surprisingly, he didn't mind not knowing, just this once. Because even if he couldn't name it, he could be grateful for being trusted for the more personal side of Elizabeth.

After seeing it for the first time he was compelled by a want to see it again. And he did see it again. Since the first time, he began to see it more often, but that wasn't to say Russell saw it a lot. Elizabeth still had an image to maintain, and she was protective of herself. Something that had helped her time and time again. He began to see it when she had a brilliant idea based off of something he had said. Russell saw it when he make a snarky joke. Though, he was careful of his snark. Even if she had a fondness for him, he was not immune to her anger. Nor her, his.

Russell had slowly grew to like her, in the beginning, he had, admittedly, thought she would be out within the first month. He even had a list of replacements stored in one his desk drawers. He had been surprised after she lasted over a month, and again surprised when she was there after three months. Slowly, he forgot to be surprised and the list of replacements laid forgotten under piles of folders.

He had found it again a couple years later, smirking as he remembered how he doubted Bess's competency for the position she redefined and set a new standard for her successors. Russell didn't look as he put it through the shredder. With any luck, they wouldn't need it. In fact, he was banking on it.

Russell had seen the look in her eyes after they had gotten rid of Craig Sterling. He had taken it as forgiveness for appointing him without consulting her, lying to her about it, and for how he acted about it. But of course, he wouldn't place any money on it. He wasn't one for placing bets without having a sure win. Russell could hope though.

After blaming her for the primaries results the look was gone. He never really appreciated her trust until it was gone. And he had sorely missed it. Russell didn't know why she forgave him or even when. He had never apologized, and yet weeks later, she had looked at him like before.

Elizabeth had given him a knowing glance right after, but hadn't bothered to comment. Knowing that if she did he would shut down, or at least that's what he lead himself to believe.

Russell had learned how valuable her trust was when she had taken the blame for something that really wasn't her fault in any way. But she knew how much he needed good publicity for the upcoming election, so Elizabeth had her speech writer and her press coordinator draft something up to shift the blame off of Russell and the President. He hadn't even asked. So sure that she would tell him no. But she was a women of endless surprises.

He knew that Conrad had seen this look in her eyes. They had been friends for over twenty years, and from his understanding, they were -and are- close. The President had brought her into the CIA for god sakes, and probably taught her most of what she knew about being a spy. But he wouldn't give to much credit to Dalton.

Elizabeth was bright, and she put her own twist on things. So even though Conrad had taught her the basics, that's probably all he did. Bess would have taken over then. Finding new ways to do something, more efficient ways, kinder ways.

There was so much meaning, and stories behind that look, and stories born from it too. Bess's had seen so much terror, hatred, and death even before she came to work for Dalton. And yet she still remained kind, open, friendly, and just. She never lost sense of right and wrong, and she stood behind those beliefs fully. Elizabeth was not one to back something partially, it was either fully, or not at all. It was a rare thing in Washington, where most would drop their support at the first sight of trouble.

Yeah, there was something special about Elizabeth. Something that drew people to her, something that was rare, and couldn't be seen. And though he'd never admit to anything, Russell had lost her trust before, and he'd never want to lose it again.

Russell snorted to himself, scotch made him sentimental. At least, that's what he'd blame it on.


End file.
